Wetlook World Forum

by Wamstrad

[IEEE 1394 notice: All characters in this story are over 18 millimetres tall, even when asleep]

I. Bored meeting.

'Twas the morning of Xmas, and all thru the house

Alice was shouting, "Hey Dad, where's my mouse?"

"I'm still fixing the cable," replied Mr. Land, Alice's father.

"Why don't you go next door and play with your friends Cathy and Brenda? But be back in four hours, for the family xmas dinner!"

"Yay, cool, dad! I was getting bored with YouSpace and MyTube anyway," quoth Alice.

"Ding Dong" went next door's bell, as Alice approached their front door.

"Spooky," thought Alice, "a doorbell with a PIR proximity detector and an MP3 recording of someone saying 'ding dong'. Whatever."

"Hi Alice," said Mrs. O'Dray, "Brenda and Cath are upstairs hack... erm playing with their new present."

Alice ascended the stairs, which was even spookier, as the O'Dray family lived in a bungalow.

"Yo, Alice!" said Brenda. "Done your boring partial diff eqns for our maths lecturer Aggy Bee yet?"

"What a waste of xmas hols," replied Alice. "Anyway, my dad's fixing the mouse on my PC, as the parrot nibbled it."

"Pieces of eight -- you got a parroty error hehehe..." giggled Cath. "Hey, nice dress!" she added.

"Thanks Cathy," smiled Alice. "It's a xmas present from my mum!"

"Why don't we play on our new PC, Alice, as yours is temporarily foobar," suggested Brenda.

"Woo yay," smiled Alice. "Hey, what level's this? I've never played it before?"

Alice moved forward, picked up a health pack, turned the corner, and suddenly...

>>WAM!<< The three girls were sucked into Cath O'Dray's screen...

II. Multi-user game.

"Narrow road between LANs? Where is this place?" mused Alice.

"Heya, I think I know where we are!" said Brenda hopefully. "This road leads to 'Frequencies leisure centre and nightclub'."

"Woo, but it won't be open on xmas day, gurlz, will it?" queried Cathy.

"Curiouser and curiouser," thought Alice to herself.

"Yay yay yay !!!1!!1!!oneone!" exclaimed Cathy, as they approached a building nearby. "That's a poster of Amy Kristine! She fronts Leaves Essence!"

"Don't you mean... Oh never mind the elegy, that's good enough!" said Alice.

"That's quite unreal! I prefer EBM anyway," said Brenda industriously. "Hey girls, the door's unlocked..."

Alice, Brenda, and Cathy entered the darkened hallway cautiously. Suddenly a hollow voice said "PLUGH".

"Oh shut up Brenda!" whispered Alice. "It's far too spooky in here anyway, and not only that but this story's got far too many puns in it for this genre!"

"No punishment for trying!" giggled Cathy. "Why are we whispering, anyway?"

A large pussycat grinned and slowly disappeared round the corner, followed by a squishy little white rabbit.

"Wooity! A dance floor!" exclaimed Alice gleefully. "But why is there a red flag at one end, and a blue..."

"Perhaps there's no guard on duty," giggled Brenda. "He's left his hat behind though... Ten and six?? Cheap at half the price!"

"That hatter's totally mad!" said Cathy. "But what's this here? Nah, nothing but a pack of cards!"

"Let's dance girls!" said Alice. "Maybe this button operates the PA system..."

With a whirring noise a small panel opened halfway along the wall...

III. Pool of tears.

"Hey girls! There's a tube here!" said Alice, looking curiously at the hole in the wall.

"Prolly a spare for one of the equalizers," suggested Cathy.

"No, Cath O'Dray... not that sort of tube! I mean a large pipe!" exclaimed Alice.

"A fat pipe?" asked Brenda. "Much better than ADSL! Even better than an ASMD!"

"Pipe down!" said Alice. So Brenda did just that; pushed Alice down the pipe.

Alice slid down the pipe with a scream. "Help!" she shouted. Then there was a splash.

"I wouldn't like to swim in that ooze!" said Cathy, looking down the tube at Alice.

"Bit cold for I-scream," laughed Brenda. "I'd rather have a goth-lolly!"

"Lol! You'd better go down and rescue her, Brenda darling! You pushed her down there..." exclaimed Cathy.

"I'm drowning -- help me!" screamed Alice.

So Brenda slid down, landed on Alice's shoulders and held Alice's head under.

"Very funny," gurgled Alice.

"You do look so sweet like that, all wet," said Cathy.

And Brenda and Cathy taunted Alice by singing a little song:

"In her sweet little Alice blue gown,

If she falls in the pool she won't drown,

It goes clingy and yet

Quite seethru when wet,

And looks fab as she walks thru the town!"

"Hey, this long dress was brand new!" moaned Alice. "I hope the dye doesn't run!"

"Come down Cathy," shouted Brenda. "Alice is worried about dyeing..."

"Should I call her an ambulance?" asked Cathy.

"No, just call her Alice, it's her name you know. She's perfectly okay, just a little soggy."

Cathy slid down the waterslide with a whoosh...

"Oh f..k," said Cathy. "Now I've got a wet jumper!"

"Actually it's more like a uilleann pipe," sniggered Brenda.

"Out of pipe jokes at line 00100," asserted Alice.

"I know what this is!" exclaimed Cathy. "There used to be a leisure pool downstairs and a gym upstairs, before the Liandri conflict."

"Curiouser and curiouser," said Alice. "My mum and dad did mention a millennium pool party, many years ago."

"And that explains the avatar and the two flags!", added Brenda. "Someone turned the whole area into a CTF level, and uploaded it to the game grid..."

"Does that mean that we're just avatars too?" realized Alice.

And with the dawn came the awakening...

IV. Deja woo.

"What a funny dream!" said Alice sleepily, as she awoke early on xmas morning.

"I'd better boot up my PC and blog it to my website..."

"Damn! That parrot has bitten thru the mouse cable. I'll have to ask Dad to fix it..."

THE END