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Message # 58721.2

Subject: Re:A personal note...wetlook, couples, acceptance issues

Date: Fri 09/08/13 11:17:29 GMT

Name: WetInKS

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Don't know if you'll see this, since the post is so far down, but I'll add my two cents.

I'm glad you're thankful for having a willing partner. Mine's not. We had a big to-do last might because, in spite of the incredible heat, she wanted to keep going on our renovation project (no air-conditioning) instead of driving to a lake to go paddleboating. (I have to suggest things like that, because that's the only way there's a sliver of a chance she might maybe get wet with clothes on.) So I won't say to you what she told me: "Stop being frustrated!" So helpful and understanding she is...

Instead, I can tell you that

1) Partners will always make mistakes. I still do, after 11 years of being together.

2) It's possible that Hollywood sets us up to expect everything sexual to go down perfectly. Sad to say, it doesn't.

3) For you, then, you have to be as open with your needs and desires regarding wet clothing as you have to be when having sex. It's just part of having a relationship. Over time, you'll get to know each other better -- but you'll STILL need to be open.

At least you _can_ be open. If I say anything, my partner just gets disgusted and turned completely off.

In reply to Message (58721)

A personal note...wetlook, couples, acceptance issues

By warmrain84 - timeszero.band@gmail.com Sun 04/08/13 08:28:44 GMT

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I'm posting here because I don't know where else to turn. I'm hoping a like-minded and empathetic person may be able to help me. Now, for some of us, wetlook isn't just a matter of sexual attraction, but also part of our identity; it's something we see as part of ourselves that we want/hope those closest to us to accept.

Okay, so, I'm blessed enough to have a girlfriend who has seemed pretty "okay" with my wetlook interest, and will occasionally join (or "indulge") me. Now, I already know this can be a unique thing others wished they had. I was single for many years, so I know the feeling.

But something happened today that really disturbed me. I've been waiting all summer for a good rainstorm to get wet (indoor showers are a little claustrophobic for wetlook with a partner for me, which is the only available opportunity other than like water bottles or something). There have been plenty of rain storms, but we've always been at work, driving, or otherwise busy. Finally we had a big one approaching today with nothing to do. The thing is, she was wearing one of my favorite outfits, and she was ready, willing, and able to go and get wet with me. I was really excited. We've only been wet together a few times, and this was kind of the one experience I really looked forward to. But then right when the rain started, she said she wanted to go change. She changed into an outfit I not only had told her turned me off, but reminded me of a really bad experience with someone else (it was exactly something someone else wore that had really hurt me in the past). She said she didn't remember me telling her (I had reminded her that morning) and said she just changed into it because she felt like it. I felt really bad, both disappointed she changed and mad at myself for caring about it.

Now, I know it's not intentional (it really doesn't seem intentional) but I can't shake the feeling that I've lost interest in getting wet with her. She was wearing something I have complimented her on many times, and changed at the last minute into something I just told her reminded me of a bad experience. She then remembered and said she felt bad for not remembering earlier, but by then I had lost interest. I feel misunderstood and somehow rejected (if that makes sense). I know her intentions were to be nice, and I need to appreciate that, but something in my brain feels like the meaning has been lost and I can't find it interesting, comfortable, or hot to get wet with her.

Does anybody else relate or have insight? I know I should be grateful that she was willing at all; I just feel really bummed and wish I still wanted to get wet with her, but I feel like it's ruined. This isn't the first time, by the way, we've had this kind of misunderstanding. She says I'm too subtle and need to just tell her what I like, but when I do, there's been a couple of other incidents when she will change or decide she doesn't want to get wet at the last minute, and I feel like it's an emotional whirlwind. The few other times we got wet, it was fine, but I felt like she was just trying to be nice; I insist that I will still love her, but she just needs to decide if she's truly okay with it. Otherwise, our relationship is great, but the wetlook issue makes me feel misunderstood, or just disconnected. Thank you for any insight; this is a personal matter so I hope any feedback will be sensitive to that.

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