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Message # 81737.2.1.1.1.1

Subject: Re:parental resentment

Date: Sun 21/06/20 22:04:37 GMT

Name: 81737.2

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The parent I'm talking about in this case was my grandma who lived with my mom and me. When I say "my parents", I'm really speaking more about her but it's easier for me to write "my parents" instead of explaining this every time. Mom simply went along with my grandma's rules about not getting wet. I felt like I forgave when she died, but the childhood memories remain and I still have memories of how I felt during those instances. Those don't go away, they're simply a part of me just like everyone else's memories are a part of them. However, I can't really blame her for this because she was talked into moving in with us by my dad who thought multi-generational living was a good idea. I really can't blame my dad either because he has serious issues which I'm dealing with now.

There once was a public service ad on TV with a teenager asking his dad if he remembered something they did together when the teenager was a kid. The dad really didn't remember it and he was surprised that his son did. The voice over said something like "Create memories with your kids, you never know what they'll remember." In my case, the thing she probably had no idea that I would remember was looking out the window at the other kids playing in the rain and wading in the puddles. She probably had no idea the thing I remember the most is not being allowed to play in the sprinklers. I remember one day in fourth grade, during recess, part of the school yard was flooded from heavy rain. The other kids went to play in the giant puddle but before I could join them, the teacher stopped me because he said my grandma called the school and told them I wasn't allowed to get wet.

She was unbelievably obsessive about wet clothes (and a few other things) and don't think she ever said "He's an adult now, he can do what he wants." No, she went to pieces over my wife and I doing the polar plunge every New Year's Day even though I'm in my 40s. In fact, her obsessiveness was so unbelievable, I avoided writing too much about her on Experience Project (where I met my wife) because I didn't think anybody would believe me. She was upset with us for four months (she actually never got over that, either) because she saw pictures of our honeymoon in Germany, where we got muddy doing the wattwandern.

The best I can do is not pass on those obsessions to the next generation by not teaching my own kids that wet clothes is something special. If we plan on going swimming, I'll put them in swimsuits but if they don't want to put on their swimsuits and go swimming in their regular clothes, I don't make an issue out of it.

In reply to Message (81737.2.1.1.1)

parental resentment

By NCgreg - ncgreg231@yahoo.com Sun 21/06/20 18:38:06 GMT

Website: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmJ0P89_P90&t=57s

Hello.

You resent your parents forbidding you doing this thing that could provide *SO* much enjoyment. I hope you can * forgive * your parents for this...(it's amazing how much better life is as you become better at forgiveness) Your parents were not perfect (is anybody...besides me?) and maybe imperfect in other ways (but i don't want to get into too much therapy, right now...)

I am a little bit older than you (i think) and my obessiveness with wetlook has diminished remarkably over the last 2 or 3 years (on the other hand, the ink for my divorce decree is not yet fully dry, so maybe that might change?)

Oddly, my thoughts turn to "casual guy" who *REALLY* did not find anything enjoyable about wet clothes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmJ0P89_P90&t=57s

(not sure how to make the link "LIVE" but i pasted it up above too...should work...

In reply to Message (81737.2.1.1)

Re:I had the same problem

By Poster 81737.2 - Sun 21/06/20 04:07:06 GMT

Website:

The good news is it doesn't have the importance for me that it used to have. When I was single, the most important thing in a prospective mate was that getting wet fully clothed was something natural for her. I wanted someone who already normally got wet fully clothed, not someone who didn't really enjoy but did it just to please me. That was a pretty tall order and because of that, I stayed single until I was 39.

Now that I'm married to someone who does fully clothed hot tub talks with me once a week, it's our Tuesday night husband and wife ritual. I'm not nearly as obsessed with wet look as I was before I met her. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate our Tuesday night hot tub talks very much as well as our good times jumping on the trampoline in the rain but because I do this regularly with my wife, I've lost a lot of the obsessiveness about it. I absolutely love enjoying with her, I've just lost the feeling that I was missing out on something.

However, my parents got one big thing wrong about wet look. When I objected to not being allowed to get my clothes wet as a kid, they said "You'll get over it." That was 3½ decades ago and I haven't gotten over it yet. The thing I don't understand is why I'm still resentful about all those times I was missing out as a kid. I'm an adult now, I can enjoy it anytime I want. It shouldn't matter anymore but for some unknown reason it still does.

In reply to Message (81737.2.1)

I had the same problem

By Wetlooker2 - Sat 20/06/20 18:54:56 GMT

Website:

I always like to be around water and in it, my mom dont understand why i will go be wet clothed,

but this big feeling about i cant do it the way i want to do it, maybe make this so big for me today.

But if i was growing up in another family and mom tell me, its okey if you will go in with your clothes on,

and maybe i have do it many times in young ages, maybe i would lost the interest of it already after some years.

A open minded parent is the best one, maybe someone who been scout, swimmer or been around boats in young life

and have the experience with wet clothes from young ages, will be the best parent.

"Take some extra clothes with you if you are going to be wet".....for example.

In reply to Message (81737.2)

Re:Some information about wetlook fetischism and when it begins

By Poster 81737.2 - Sat 20/06/20 09:03:15 GMT

Website:

I can tell you exactly how my wet look fetish started! I was that one kid who wasn’t allowed to get wet. I remember looking out the window with jealousy and envy at the other kids jumping in the puddles and playing in the rain but I was never allowed to join them. On summer nights the sprinklers would come on in the park and all of the other kids had fun in the sprinklers but again, I wasn’t allowed to join them. I always had to go inside when the sprinklers in the park came on. I can still feel the same sting of the jealousy and envy I felt as I felt on those nights I wasn’t allowed to play in the sprinklers with the other kids. My parents were very dismissive people. They always said “You’re not missing out on anything!”, but I was missing out on something!

One day we went to the mall and there was a fair in the parking lot which had a dunk tank. The dunkee was a girl who was wearing a T-shirt, shorts, socks and shoes. By this time wet clothes were becoming something special to me that everybody else could enjoy but I couldn’t. I wanted to watch the dunking but my parents hurried me along. The most important thing in the world to my parents was “Don’t get your clothes wet!”. Now, wet clothes is the most important thing in the world to me. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. My parents definitely trained me to see getting wet in fully clothed as something exciting and now that I’m an adult I definitely haven’t departed from it!

In reply to Message (81737)

Some information about wetlook fetischism and when it begins

By Wetlooker2 - Fri 19/06/20 13:22:32 GMT

Website: https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-tell-my-parents-that-I-like-swimming-with-my-clothes-on

For genuine wet clothes people, the wetlook interest usually starts between 4–7 years of age and persist beyond this age range. It could be visual (appearance of wet clothes) or tactile (feeling of wet clothes), or both. It is probable it will grow into a sex fetish when you grow up (mid-teens or older) - viewing people in wet clothes or being in wet clothes enhances your sexual experience or masturbation pleasure. Some people it stays disconnected from sex. Some people enjoy wet clothes without sexual context and is also a sex fetish (I would fit this latter category).

Some it is just a matter of being different or rebellious, or a social embarrassment or anxiety, but this would probably develop at a later age (7+).

Telling parents - it depends on the parents. If they seem reasonable, you can probably just tell them. They may support your interest, with some rules. Parents that are hard-fast on tradition and fixed-roles or are disciplinarian may not respond well though.

My wetlook fetisch, i remember i have some feeling of it when i was around 5, have a special feeling when i see people on TV goes wet, on young years to i was around 18 i start talking about it and be more open minded.

Before that i never talk about it IRL, only on internet, i had much problems at home, my mother hate the idea to swim with clothes, even with shorts......

Now im 35 and live at my own place, been on 4 different beaches latest years and enjoy swimming with clothes, sometimes every day, sometimes i go there in the early morning or i going home late.

Now i have a plan to buy a quad or a 49cc bike, will be easy to take me to the beach near me there im now.

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