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Message # 76489.4

Subject: Read This If I had it to do all over again ...

Date: Thu 14/03/19 15:08:23 GMT

Name: WamMan us

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I've been married 40 years, and this part of our relationship has been a problem since day one.  In addition to not understanding wetlook or my love of sexy wet lingerie, my wife could basically be a nun in terms of sex.  No real interest, never enjoys it, does it just to get me off her back.  A BJ now and then?  No way "that's disgusting" she says.  Doing things just to please me have never been in the cards.

 

This is a symptom of a larger personality trait - self-centeredness.  If a woman does not want to do things to genuinely please you and do so out of love, that's a huge problem in my book.  This trait will then be reflected in other areas of the relationship - money, etc.  It's about them and their needs, desires, interests and non-interests first.  Yours are a distant second.  In my mind, when I read posts like yours, I say BINGO just another self centered person who will be that way forever and frustrate this guy till they part, one way or the other.  For these people there is no hope, really.  Sorry to say that, but in my experience it's totally true.  People are who they are and you are not going to change them, so at least relieve yourself of the expectation things can / will change.  I promise they will not.

 

And, when you mention she saw your UMD activity and was concerned, BINGO #2.  Self-centered to the hilt!  So she knows this is a fetish, doesn't have any interest in pleasing your with it, and then resents when you go elsewhere to fulfill your fantasy.  What a bunch of BS.  I know because it happened to me too.  One word - self-centered.  Period.

 

I have resented this aspect for her for this all our years. Sometimes more than others, it comes and goes.  But I have learned, obviously, to live with it.   That's not to say all of our marriage was a bummer, no.  To the contrary, we've had a really good life together.  But all said and done, if I were searching for a new partner today, I would never, ever try to build a relationship with someone who didn't enjoy sex, want to experiment, partake willingly and initiate wetlook for us both, and have a genuine interest in pleasing me.  I have learned my lesson, unfortunately too late.  

 

 

You're lucky - you have the chance to start over.  Good luck to you.  But, if you wind up committing to a self-centered woman and get frustrated yet again, don't say you have not been warned!

 

In reply to Message (76489) Question Wetlook guy, non wetlook wife

By RoscoeBC - us Thu 14/03/19 05:51:34 GMT

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I don't think anyone has ever quite posed this question.  If you've got a wetlook fetish, is there any point trying to have a long term relationship with a woman that doesn't want to partake in wetlook, either because she likes it or because she wants to please you?   The wife and I just split up after 21 years.  I know in my mind it was partly because I wanted wetlook, and if she complied occasionally, it was begrudgingly and with as little effort on her part as possible, not much fun.  I really grew to resent the fact that she couldn't do something so simple and harmless just to please her husband.  Heaven knows I did enough to please her.  If she couldn't do something so simple because it really excited me, why did she get into this relationship, just the money?

 

Has anyone here had a successful long term relationship with a woman who can't at least enjoy partaking because you enjoy it?  I dated a few women that could have fun with it.  I think I should have married one of them.  Of course once they were married, things may have changed.  I'm pursuing a woman now that absolutely leaves me speechless, but if she can't enjoy it, should I bail and look for another?

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