Wetlook World Forum

Message # 51262.3.1.1

Subject: !!"LIKE"!!

Date: Wed 10/08/11 20:56:15 GMT

Name: NCgreg

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By Amf - Sat 06/08/11 09:07:28 GMT

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About your question . . . I've never been troubled by jealousy much myself, so I might not be the best person to ask, but I'll give it a shot.  

First of all, I think jealousy is absolutely poisonous to a relationship.  It suggests a lack of trust and faith in your partner, which can't be good.  It's not surprising that your partners do not like it, but acknowledging that it's a problem you want to fix is a great sign.  So you're off to a good start.  

So . . . one thing you ought to consider is the double standard you might be setting.  I've seen pictures on your Flickr page of women other than Martini wet, right?  (By the way, are you the one who took all those great pictures of "#1 P.A." who appears on your site going down the water slide?  I love her!)  So what about that?  Is it okay for YOU to not only look at other wet women but even post their pictures and seek them out online, but NOT okay for your lover to do something similar?  I don't think that's fair.  You know that even if you do enjoy looking at other wet women, you still LOVE Martini, and only her.  Right?  The same is true for her, so give her that benefit.  

Look at what you have to gain and lose.  What do you have to gain from jealousy?  Nothing in the world.  Nothing but aggravation for yourself and frustration and hurt from your partner.  Now consider for a moment everything you could gain by changing how you feel, not just a little, but completely.  When your woman sees another man in wet clothes, suppose she really IS turned on (which might not even be true--but suppose it is) . . . well, that is beautiful thing in and of itself, and you should be happy that she can feel that way because you love her and want her to be happy.  But more importantly, who is the one who turned her on to wet clothes?  Who is the one who shares wet fun with her?  You, of course!  So if she is turned on by wetlook, whenever and wherever it occurs, I think that is a sign that she loves YOU and the kinky fun you two are into.  Maybe seeing another wet man reminds her of all the fun you two have shared together. Maybe she's picturing YOU wearing that wet suit and tie!  I recommend trying to change your attitude 180 degrees; don't just try to hide the anger or jealousy you feel; instead, trust your woman, stay positive and fun, and let yourself ENJOY the fact that she is turned on by wet clothes too, even on other people (just like you are).  

I'm no expert, but I have learned over the years that women love in a different way than men do.  Men love (and lust) with their eyes MUCH more than women do, generally.  You probably feel a lot of lust when you see another woman in wet clothes, right, and I bet you have sexual thoughts about other women.  Maybe that's why you distrust your woman--because you assume she must think the same way you do.  But no, I've found that women love much more with their heart.  They love the PERSON, not just the body.  If Martini sees another wet man she might look (because wet clothes always attract attention, don't they?) but I'd be willing to bet that she does not actually think about running away with him or fucking him--the way that us guys often think!  No, that other wet man is not the man who lives in her heart.  That man is YOU, lucky guy!  

I was in a relationship recently where my partner, who I loved deeply and completely, cheated on me.  It hurt like nothing in my life ever hurt me.  Looking back upon it, I believe it happened because we were not able to be open with each other.  She could hardly confess to me that she wanted to have sex with other men, because she knew I would have freaked.  But looking back, I see hints where she tried.  Perhaps if we talked openly about her attraction to other men, we might have stayed together.  And we might have actually been able to USE that stimulus to strengthen our own sex life.  I'm not into porn, myself, but one night she rented a porno movie and we watched it together. I'm kind of squeamish about hardcore porn, but to my surprise, she was very turned on by it. In this way, she was clearly trying to share with me what turned her on sexually.  Since it seemed like I usually wanted sex about 4X as often as she did, I welcomed the fact that she was in the mood and we took advantage of it (wink, wink).  But I wasn't as encouraging or giving as I could have been.  Looking back, I wish I would have used that little window of opportunity as a way to a much more active and happy sex life with her.  If I would have encouraged her by bringing home some porn flicks, she would have definitely fucked me harder and more often.  Win-win.

Even after she cheated, I really wished that I could have been happy for her.  After her affair (but before I found out about it) she was so excited sexually, and guess who benefited from that the most?  You got it!  Me!  Who doesn't want a partner full of sexual energy?  I wish I could have been like some of the people I've known who are in loving, incredible, open relationships.  They acknowledge that the desire for sex with more than one person is normal, and they are secure and confident enough in themselves and their partners to allow themselves to act upon that desire.  Look at swingers and how it works for them; they have sex with different partners--but then they always come back together.  I'm sure that talking about their sexual adventures with others adds an extra layer of thrill to their own sex life together.  I was not able to be this open or accepting of my ex's actions, but that is mostly due to the fact that she was not honest with me.  But I wish now that we could have been that open and that trusting of each other.  

Did you ever see the movie Gandhi?  The most powerful scene in the film for me was when Mahatma was on a hunger strike protesting the senseless fighting between Hindus and Muslims that resulted in the division of the country into what is now India and Pakistan.  As he lay in his sickbed, a parade of people who had been affected by the war came to him for advice.  One Hindu man in terrible anguish told Gandhi that Muslims had killed his only son, and he didn't know what to do.  Gandhi replied, "Find an orphaned boy whose parents have been killed in the fighting and adopt him and raise him as your own son.  Only make sure that it is a MUSLIM boy."  The Hindu man's eyes popped out of his head.  I hope he took the Mahatma's advice though, because it was very wise advice.  

So here's my advice (I feel like the guru with the white beard on top of the mountain here!):  

Do not just put up with Martini looking at other wet men.  ENCOURAGE her to do so!  Talk to her about what she likes about it and how it makes her feel.  Allow her to express her sexual thoughts and desires openly, and who do you suppose she will love and want to fuck like crazy as a result?  That's right, my friend, YOU.  

Life is short!  We should all be able to have fun without fear.  You are SO lucky to have a woman who likes wet clothes.  For god's sake, ENCOURAGE her!  Let it be something that spices up your relationship and your sex life.  

Your choices then are A) continue to be jealous, drive yourself mad, and drive your woman away from you until you end up alone, or B) have fun, stop seeing this as a threat, learn to love what turns your woman on, and have an even MORE active, fun, fulfilling wetlook sex life with this awesome woman (who, by the way, rocks!)  

Best of luck to you!  And if it does work out, keep the lovely pictures coming!  I think you two are going to make it!  

Amf

By 1wamnut - tim_gipe@yahoo.com Sat 06/08/11 05:06:31 GMT

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But I'm going to go one step further here because I know I am among friends, even though faceless, and I need some serious encouragement on an issue that hampers my wetlook fun. For whatever reason(s), I become angry, jealous, insecure of myself, and very hurt whenever my lover sees another man wet in clothes - especially when it's in a movie or on tv - or if we're out somewhere and it happens out of nowhere - like a dunking booth. I'm slowly becoming more comfortable with it because if her and I are in wet clothes, it doesn't bother me nearly as much. Its just when she sees another man in wet clothes (in jeans, pants, and especially suit and tie), and she and I are dry, it feels as if my lover just cheated on me...  Any suggestions here? And please, no smartass comments. This has been an issue since I was with my first love in high school, and I've lost several women who were alot of fun because of this issue. And I'm fighting with all I have to win Martini (the woman in my pix) back. This is a major problem we are dealing with... Thank you....    Also, if any women on here have any comments, I would surely welcome them.

By Amf - Sat 06/08/11 01:28:06 GMT

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But I have never been COMPLETELY open with any of my partners right from the very start before, and I've never been open with my friends--until really, just this year (and I just turned 50!)  But I think now I am, and not only do I have no regrets, it has made my life so much more fun and fulfilling.  

I've been more and more open with friends in the past few years, but this year I've held back less than ever.  My friends have a place on a lake, and I've been swimming there several times with all my clothes on, so now they just expect it.  One evening, during a light rain, I strolled down to the lake in jeans, a long sleeved shirt, and a jacket.  I really wanted to go in the lake, but thought that would finally seem too weird.  But when I came back up to the house, the woman of the house said, "I was expecting you to be all wet.  When you went down there, I thought, 'he's gonna go in in all his clothes, even his jacket this time!'"  I said, "You really expected me to do that?"  And she said yes.  So I went back down and went right in, wearing everything.  She acted like it was the normalest thing, or just my thing.  The invitation/encouragement is what really made me do it!  

I've also become much more open about my love for swimming fully clothed on Facebook, and even commenting about how I like swimming in my clothes and putting up wet pictures of myself.  Did anyone freak out or react negatively?  On the contrary!  Earlier this summer, I got a message from a girl (young, cute, fun) who said she was at someone's house with a pool but had no swimwear (and it's been brutally hot here this summer).  Then she said she thought about me, and how I often posted about how fun it is to swim fully clothed, so she just jumped in, clothes and all.  Then she wrote, "You were right!  It was so much fun!"  We've chatted a lot about it since and talked about jumping in pools together sometime.  

But the grand finale happened last night.  But back up a bit.  20 years or so.  I was married for a long time, and while I shared my interest with my (ex) wife, I did so pretty slowly and carefully, and with quite a bit of fear and embarrassment.  It's not that wetlook is so creepy or disgusting, but it is not very common, so I was embarrassed.  She didn't like it much at first, but eventually got to be a good sport about it, and by the time we divorced, she liked it enough to keep doing it without me.  I've been single now for 4 or 5 years, and I've more open than before, but still a little shy.  Until now.  

I joined an online dating site, and the first time I used it, I included a very casual mention of how I like to do crazy things like jump in fountains fully clothed.  But the last time I used the site, just a couple weeks ago, I just went for it, and put up two or three pictures of myself in soaking wet jeans and long sleeve shirts, and in my profile I just came right out with it and said how I love swimming fully clothed, and what a thrill it is for me.  I described my "ideal first date" as ending with a crazy jump in a fountain and lots of laughter.   I was worried that people would think I was a freak.  But then I thought, if anyone thinks that, I don't need them.  So what do you think happened?  I got negative comments about how weird I was?  Um, no.  

Instead, I got SO many emails, and so many of them commented about how fun I seemed.  Many came right out and suggested that maybe we should go jump in a fountain together.  One woman wrote to say that I looked absolutely "charming" in wet clothes, and we went on to a "wet clothes contest" where we would get wet together to see which of us looked more charming.  But then last night, I had a date that cemented it for me.  She joked as we were exchanging emails about where to go for our first date, saying, "I have a feeling it will involve a fountain."  That really encouraged me.  

So I found a restaurant at a hotel, which, of course, had a swimming pool.  We ate at the patio adjacent to the pool.  Then after the restaurant closed, we sneaked into the pool.  She told me that she wore river sandals because she had a feeling that we would end up all wet.  And sure enough, we went right in, clothes and all!  She wore jeans and a cute black top that showed quite a bit of her sexy cleavage.  I wore tight jeans and a thin, long sleeved dress shirt.  We held each other as we walked down the steps into the water, letting it soak in to our clothes.  And I held her as we sank in up to our shoulders in the warm water.  We kissed and explored each other's bodies, I got out so she could gaze at my soaking wet jeans (with nothing underneath!), and so did she.  We laid on the warm cement in our sopping wet clothes and kissed and laughed. And I pulled out all the stops, telling her how much I loved wet clothes, especially jeans (which she already could tell, obviously), and she was just with me every step of the way, loving the sensation of it, the sight of me all wet, the crazy thrill, the breaking-of-the-rules (we had to climb over the fence!), everything!!!  We never got caught, so we spent what seemed like hours going in and out of the water, indulging in the feeling and the sight of it.  While we kissed and touched in the water, she said to me, more than once, "This is the best first date ever!"  

What do you do with a woman like that?  Spend the rest of your life with her, is what I'm thinking!  She seemed absolutely crazy about me from the very beginning--and I think part of the reason why is that I was so completely 100% open with her.  I was proud of what turned me on, and she loved knowing it and sharing it with me.  And we both have said that was just the first of many many such experiences that she and I will share!  

Okay folks.  The moral of the story?  Don't hide!  Don't be ashamed!  Don't act like you're into something creepy or weird!  Just be who you are, be proud, be fun (isn't that the POINT?) and good things will happen as a result.  If any of you have partners who would freak out about something so harmless, really, why would you want to be with someone so close-minded and judgmental?  

Remember the young woman who jumped in the pool because of my example?  I told her about my amazing date, and here's what she said:  

"See where posting pictures of you being crazy and jumping in fountains gets you? An equally crazy woman willing to jump in with you!"

I was always very encouraged by reading success stories like this on this forum, so I thought maybe some of you would like to hear mine.  Go for it people!  Be proud!  It's okay!  Really!  You have EVERYTHING to gain!!!!!