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Message # 40357.2.3.1.1.1

Subject: Re: Therapy...

Date: Thu 04/06/09 12:48:21 GMT

Name: w@mboy

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Yeah, for me wetlook is just visual, mental stimulation, whereas sex is physical and emotional. Wetlook arousal for me is not connected to be involved in a situation - just spectating, whereas sex/watching porn is centred upon participation.

Agree that conditioning is the way to go, but it's very hard to make the initial steps in the company of another person, where as a guy you have to perform - if you aren't enjoying it too much and start to go soft and then worry then it's all over. The therapy helps by using repetition by yourself to begin with, and also by getting to the root of why the fetish became an exclusive obsession, and thus a problem. In my case there were other areas of my life that I needed to take control of to be able to move forwards. Plus, I needed to diminish the importance of wetlook in my sexuality to give sex a chance of being at least comparable, which wasn't an easy thing to do. Essentially, if I'd seen a therapist along with my parents aged 12, it would have been easy (very embarassing, but easy) but after many years, it becomes a lot harder to reverse.

w@mboy

In reply to Message (40357.2.3.1.1)

Re: Therapy...

By AnthonyX - anthonyx@jowc.net Thu 04/06/09 08:59:50 GMT

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Several thoughts come to mind...

We're all pre-programmed for sex, and some triggers are similarly pre-programmed.

The sexual triggers can be altered via learning.

We are equipped with the same Pavlovian conditioned response mechanism which was famously demonstrated by the experiment in which dogs salivated in response to the sound of a bell. Although we have that conditioned response mechanism, we can choose to override it or retrain ourselves into a different response.

If you don't initially respond to female nudity, or respond negatively, but can see your way through a few "conventional" sexual encounters, your brain will very quickly begin to associate nudity with sexual reward. Like Pavlov's dogs anticipating their food, a naked woman will turn you on, and you will enjoy it.

Something I did not mention in my previous post: the turn-on I get from wetlook is qualitatively different from the turn-on associated with a "normal" sexual encounter. It's difficult to describe, impossible for me to explain, and came as a surprising revelation to me. It's almost as if distinctly different parts of the brain are involved. I mention it because it almost seems to have some relevance to the issues you have been discussing, and wonder if it's more than just a curious anomaly.

In reply to Message (40357.2.3.1)

Re: Therapy...

By w@mboy - Thu 04/06/09 00:14:50 GMT

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I'm in my 20s now, I've had a number of sexual relationships, I'm definitely straight (I've considered this a number of times with an open mind!) but the issue is what the Internet can do to a young person. I can remember back to around the age of 5 or 6 and being aroused by wetlook then (I was an early developer - but obviously I didn't really understand what was happening until years later, I just knew I liked it). When puberty rolled round proper, so did the Internet, and so I never had to go beyond TotalWetlook, the old Bravenet forum, the UMD, etc. back then to get my sexual enjoyment, which simply in-grained this fetish further until (with the help of an awful naked image that I accidentally saw around age 13) I ended up only being able to be turned on by a fully clothed girl who was wet. If a girl took her clothes off, it couldn't be wetlook and steadily the aversion developed until it was so much of an issue that I actually disliked seeing a girl wearing any less than a bikini and so could not get aroused when having sex. Clearly this issue is a very acute case, I never got the chance to develop any appreciation for the female form or the idea of having sex - I'm having to learn that now in my 20s with the help of CBT (i.e. repetition) therapy. The key take-away from all of this is for parents - make sure you know what you child is doing online - perhaps developing fetishes is hereditary - so you should safe-guard them while they are around the ages of 8-16 to make sure they are developing in a normal enough way such that it won't impact their life later on. Due to the generation gap, my parents had no clue about computers, but that shouldn't be the case now. I really think that when sexual education is taught at school this type of thing should be discussed - I had nobody to go to about this when I was young.

To further clarify, wetlook for me is almost entirely a visual experience, I had no problem with orgasm when looking at wetlook. There's not really anything that deep to all this, just that my mind developed with fully clothed and wet in the place of sex/nudity as the turn on. Due to the fact that I could always get aroused to my fetish whenever I wanted, I never had to develop any normal turn-ons. I'm sure there will be many more younger members of the forum who develop an unhealthy obsession with wetlook, rather than having it as complementary to the normal sexuality.

w@mboy

In reply to Message (40357.2.3)

Re: Therapy...

By AnthonyX - anthonyx@jowc.net Wed 03/06/09 12:17:53 GMT

Website:

"I've been into wetlook..."

"...I ended up disliking sex/nudity..."

This is confusing. Let's say we leave out the matter of nudity for a moment.

If you're into wetlook, just exactly what does it do for you? The right sort of wetlook makes me horny. What I choose to do about it is...well...what I choose to do in order to achieve a sexual release. Are you saying that you developed a dislike for sexual release, or the situation of being intimate with a girl (I assume you enjoy pictures of wet girls)? I'm not afraid to declare the fact that I was *very* shy around girls (and anything related to sex) when I went through puberty, and for a good many years afterwards. That made it difficult for me to pursue relationships. It was always something I wanted - perhaps so much it was emotionally overwhelming. When I wanted to approach a girl, I was always intimidated. It was certainly not dislike. When I finally found myself in a relationship, and things got sexual, the challenge was to overcome shyness and intimidation, and a sense of how strange the situation seemed - nice, but uncomfortably "foreign". It's something you get used to very quickly and instead of being "weirded out" by the situation, it becomes very natural and desirable.

When I look at images of nude women and images of wetlook, I must admit that I find the wetlook pictures more stimulating... to the point that nudity, while very pleasant, doesn't necessarily turn me on, no matter how beautiful the woman. On the other hand, a real live nude woman in the bedroom, even if somewhat plain-looking is going to be much more of a turn-on than any wetlook picture. Are you saying that this is not the case for you, or that you have yet to be in the company of a naked girl? Are you comfortable with your own sexuality?

I have my doubts that wetlook is to blame for your problems. I think the real issue is/was elsewhere. Furthermore, if you approach it the right way, you can always integrate wetlook into a healthy sex life. I think it first requires a healthy attitude towards sex. I do not believe you need to break your affinity for wetlook to do it.

In reply to Message (40357.2)

Therapy...

By w@mboy - Wed 03/06/09 03:52:19 GMT

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When I've got time, I plan to write in full about my experience with wetlook and getting therapy to make me "normal". I've been into wetlook as long as I can remember, and through an unfortunate series of events (including being on this forum since the age of 12), I ended up disliking sex/nudity, making a relationship all but impossible. I've spent thousands on therapy and it's been a long, hard, emotional journey but I'm starting to come out the other side - it is possible. In my opinion, a fetish like this is akin to a drug addiction - it takes over your life and ruins your relationships. I don't want to put producers out of business (and I'm sure I won't) because I've had a lot of enjoyment from wetlook, but in the end, it's not a positive in my life because of the depth of the fetish and the problems that causes. I'm aiming to get to the stage where I like wetlook, but I'm also very happy with just nudity and normal sex, which is far more convenient and doesn't restrict your choice in partners and frees up all that time you'd otherwise spend stood on beaches or scouring the internet.

Paul.

In reply to Message (40357)

wetlook - blessing or curse ?

By Robbi - Wed 03/06/09 00:36:14 GMT

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Yesterday I came home a little earlier than my girlfriend. So I decided to go to the lake I used to go before I knew her. Just when I arrived I saw two persons standing on the little island and they were definitively clothed. As I walked on I saw them swimming back to the little shore. It was two girls and they stepped out right infront of me. One wore khaki (a bit see through) pants and a blue shirt and the other one wore skin tight jeans and a red shirt.

It was so exciting! But I feel a bit depressed as I obviously have this desire to whatch random girls swimming clothed. There is still this deamon in my mind and I would like so much to get rid of it.

I avoid going to a beach with my girlfriend, because I fear that I might spot wetlook. I wonder if I was able to keep my eyes off. I don't know, so I better dont't go.

When I was a single, wetlook was my blessing - now it became my curse.

On the other hand, I want to live a normal life. With a wife and a family. And not spending my time any longer waiting for spotting random wetlook and hang out at the lake like a perverted weirdo.

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