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Message # 23685.1.1.1.2.1.1

Subject: Hello Well, excuse me...

Date: Thu 20/07/06 13:31:09 GMT

Name: AnthonyX ca

Email: anthonyx@jowc.net

Website:

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I thought that you were unhappy with your situation, because of the way you described it. Honestly, I thought it was somewhere between a complaint and a veiled plea for help.

 

If you're happy with the situation, then nothing is wrong and most of this thread seems to be pointless. Indeed, much of it should never have been said.

 

Choose one of the following options:

 

1)  My life is a mess, I think I need help fixing it

 

2)  I am unhappy with some aspects of my life, a little help would be welcome

 

3)  Dysfunction though it may be, I am happy with my life and shall not inflict the details upon anyone else

 

4)  My life is good, what can I say?

 

5)  I just want some attention - your attention - be it good or bad.

In reply to Message (23685.1.1.1.2.1) Sad Don't bother replying to all this...

By Telcontar - mrnemesis@ntlworld.com gb Thu 20/07/06 12:13:08 GMT

Website:


*sigh*

 

I never learn, do I? I need stop answering random questions like that as it only drags all this crap into the open. The down side to being open is that people all start trying to "fix" my life by deciding that I am obviously invalid and need to be changed/fixed/rebuilt without any idea who or what I am or what any of it is about.

 

Image consultant? Are you fucking crazy? How can any self-respecting nerd (whether I am one or not) hire an image consultant? The whole point is that we don't waste all our time and money on trying to look hip and cool as we have more interesting things to do with our time. Looking good means continual and persistent effort to keep it up.

 

I don't want you or Martina or anyone trying to recreate me in some other image. I wish I'd never answered that fucking dating question (by an Anonymous no less) in the first place. Why I do it, I don't know.

In reply to Message (23685.1.1.1.2) Hello Re: [OT] Dating (nothing to do with wetlook!)

By AnthonyX - anthonyx@jowc.net ca Thu 20/07/06 11:55:34 GMT

Website:


I haven't read the entire content of this thread, but I think I can relate to your situation to a point.

 

Just like you I have missed countless opportunities over the years, coming to recognize them as opportunities only in hindsight. Sometimes immediately after the moment had passed, sometimes only upon later reflection anywhere from days to years later. I never had been on a date until I was in my 20s. Once I began dating, for years I had countless "first meetings" which went nowhere i.e. no follow-on dates. Things have improved somewhat but I still find myself "single and searching" most of the time.

 

Some quick thoughts based upon my own experience (such as it is):

 

You need to get out into the real world - the one with people going about their everyday lives, meeting one another, etc.. The world you're in may be very engaging to you, but we both know that few dating prospects live there.

 

Diversify your interests - start doing things which require in-person interaction - perhaps a sport - tennis or golf anyone? Maybe take a course - something with broad appeal - perhaps a cooking class, how about a little art history? Do something physical - cycle, swim, run, lift weights, anything. It will help make you more comfortable in your own skin and less geeky/nerdy. You can still go nuts with the Windows internals, and putting a little time and energy into the physical you may help the intellectual you perform better.

 

Hire an image consultant. It will likely involve spending money on new wardrobe, but in the process you may get some helpful advice on putting your best foot forward. Again, something like this may help build your self-confidence - knowing your image is OK.

 

Stop worrying about what other people think about you. Learn to relax in the company of others, especially women. The more self-conscious you are, the more nervous you will be around other people, and the less comfortable they will be around you. Carefully check your appearance (ideally in a full-length mirror) before you leave the house - make sure you're at least presentable, everything in place, and then forget what you look like. Just stand up straight and don't be afraid to smile. If you ever start to worry about how you look, excuse yourself, go find a washroom, do the mirror thing again to reassure yourself, then forget about how you look and rejoin the action.

 

Make some male friends too.  Women who sees you alone (not interacting with anyone) will likely be skittish of you. When they see you interacting with other guys, it allows them to gauge your personality and makes you more approachable.

 

Date women if for no other reason than for the experience. Never mind compatibility or connection - just get used to interacting. That way when you do find someone interesting, you won't be falling over yourself.

 

By all means use the internet to find dating prospects, just make sure they are local and you can meet up easily - no more than 20 minute's travel - whether by foot, bus, car, whatever. If you live off the beaten path, maybe you need to consider moving a little closer to civilization. Doesn't have to be central London, just somewhere close to a reasonably sized dating pool.

 

Don't set your standards too high or be too specific about what "she" must be like, look like, be interested in, etc. All you need is a little common ground and you can build out from there. It can be a lot of fun discovering each other's "world". You can learn a lot and discover new interests. You might want to put some premium on an "open mind" - it will help to bridge gaps - like when you are ready to introduce her to wetlook.

 

Just get out there and think positive!

In reply to Message (23685.1.1.1) Hello [OT] Dating (nothing to do with wetlook!)

By Telcontar - mrnemesis@ntlworld.com gb Tue 18/07/06 22:54:54 GMT

Website:


(Forgive me if I've said all this before, I don't remember where I've said what. I am not sure ANYONE wants to read this, but you did ask...)

 

Hum. *scratch head* Oddly enough, a number of girls asked me out at secondary school (that's highschool to Americans) but I think most of them were taunting me since I was rather a nerdy little kid and of course the one who got laughed at. One girl hid behind a building and got a couple of friends to ask me out on her behalf; I would imagine that she was deadly serious. And I said no, since I never wanted to the whole formal dating lark, I only wanted to approach it from the friendship angle, just go round to each other's house at first. But I was far too shy to try explaining that on the spot. Realistically, I don't think that anyone I've ever been interested in so far in my entire life would have been a match for me anyway, since I'm a hard-core nerd and sooner or later conversation just fizzles out and dies. When my non-wetlook thoughts are occupied by the likes of a universal interface framework for human-computer interaction and trivia like how WOWexec manages to recess the title bar in Windows 2000 to resemble CTL3DV2, you know I need a special girl to cope with the onslaught of horror I'd unleash on her skull!

 

I also exhibited the typical geek/nerd tendency to be very aloof and unaware of love. There was a girl in my tutor group who I got talking to once for no reason that I can recall, who had the same 8-bit home micro as me, *and* was good at Ghouls, a game so evil I never managed to complete level 1 (and level 1 was just a single screen, walk from one corner to the other). And she was pleasant and cute. And it may never have occurred to me to talk to her more. Was I just too shy? I don't know. I've had speech trouble since around starting secondary school, so that exarcerbates trying to initiate a conversation with anyone. That's not the only case where I've missed an opportunity through being apparently totally unaware of it. Another girl apparently had her arm around me at computer club at school while she was drawing a picture on my screen -- something my dad observed when he came to collect me -- and I didn't notice at all. (And she was a girl I noticed around, no less...) How was I so unaware?

 

I think later on at school I was just far too shy, although I don't think I ever really believed that I could confidently offer any girl what she wanted. Since I didn't do dating anyway as a matter of principle, and I was more into nerdy pleasures such that I would bore any girl shitless and she would have the same effect on me. So what could I possibly say to a girl that might interest her? It was not a case of just needing some courage, it was that I didn't even have a plan, since I never saw anything working out anyway. Also, since I never plan to get drunk, kiss goodbye any socialising. No parties, no nothing. There is no place in the world for people who don't want to be around drunk people.

 

University to study computer science after that, I didn't really mix with anyone. When it came to doing group projects I never approached anyone to say "Can I work with you", generally as I believed that I was too sad and people would just laugh. I still felt pretty uncool and weird, as well as damn shy. I used to end up working with random people like a group of Iranians and Turks. I am sure they were nice people but I never had a clue what they were saying. I did have a few friends there but it was all kinda empty. I was a student helper (a bit like a TA) in the second year but I was so weird people would avoid me. When it was me and Steve on the helpdesk, no-one came. When it was just Steve, everyone flocked to him. I think my odd appearance and tendency to go off on long rants put people off. (Steve on the other hand found my rants hilarious ;)

 

These days, there are no obvious opportunities to meet anyone either in person or even online no matter what country they're in. Work never offered anything and I am at a loss as to where to meet technically competent and nerdy women. Since there can't be more than about three on the whole planet. I know one of them but she's in Canada and we don't ever have a hope of being in a relationship (we wondered if we were heading that way once, but no -- we're just that incompatible unless we were to find we got on better face to face, and that's not likely to happen any time in the next few years or more).

 

Note that none of this has anything to do with wetlook. That doesn't even enter into it. That's just a lucky bonus.

In reply to Message (23685.1.1) Hello no or few dates

By anonymous - us Tue 18/07/06 21:36:15 GMT

Website:


You have never been on a date in your entire life?  Wow!  Why is that?  Are you too scared to ask a woman out, or do you get nothing but rejections?

 

I have had exactly two dates my entire life!  Both were strictly one-off events because the woman felt sorry for a poor loser.  I didn't realize this at the time about the first woman, and continued to pursue her until she almost filed sexual harassment charges against me!  The second woman wanted to go out again, but wanted me to buy her alcohol.  She is under 21, so I told her that I will not buy her any alcohol, so she didn't want to go after that.  She turns 21 this November, so i am going to ask her out again then, and I will buy her alcohol then.  

In reply to Message (23685.1) Hello Re: Some thoughts html

By Telcontar - mrnemesis@ntlworld.com gb Tue 18/07/06 16:56:16 GMT

Website:


Well, I'm still sure that for the majority of men (present company excepted) not female wetlook is the thing they are after, but simply naked skin.

There's nothing wrong with naked skin ;-) But wetlook is a tease and tease is good. Wetinred and I were discussing that wet t-shirt contests don't have enough tease. Even dry clothes are a tease. The less chance you have to get what you want (naked skin) the more you want it. Show naked skin immediately and, well, you win, game over. Now what? Dry clothes may or may not indicate the woman's figure (depending on whether they're loose or tight), wet clothes that cling start to make her figure clearer but yet still not show you any naked skin yet. If the wet clothes go translucent (i.e. semi-transparent) and you can see a bra or some skin, it's even sexier.

Which for me is ironic. If I can see a bra faintly through a t-shirt, it's sexy, but I feel like the woman would be embarrassed at revealing so much (even though it often doesn't seem to bother them). Yet bikinis are far more revealing and very commonplace. I wonder if I am projecting our reactions onto the women, and that they'd not feel embarrassed because they don't think they're sexy when wet? I've talked to both men and women who see nothing in wetlook beyond simply wet people.

That said, wet clothes and especially wet hair are sexy in their own right, and they feel nice too, so they make you want to feel the woman more, touch her, hold her. Wet or sweaty/clammy skin has more friction, whereas clothes can be smoother when wet.

Perhaps we can figure out what men want that visit this forum here. We still can't tell whether there are more or less men after wetlook than, say, ten years ago. The increasing number of forum visitors may also says that it's easier or cheaper to get "into" the web, or that search enginges got better to find what these men were looking for. If you do your poll, please include a question like "Since when are you a wetlook lover". I guess most answers will be "since my teenager years".

The general answer is that we've all liked wetlook since we were young. I remember playing in the paddling pool at about age 6 or so and being made to wear a vest to protect my skin, and I wasn't turned on or anything. I found that I liked wet hair on girls however, but I wasn't sexually aware yet so I am not sure why I liked it! I remember soaking my sister's dolls in the paddling pool and getting into trouble for it :) It would be a few years until I started experimenting with wet clothes in the bath and shower (I tended to take my sister's clothes from the washing basket at the time and soak them, but I also got wet in my own clothes.) And I was 18 when I finally got access to the Web at university and did a search for "wet hair".

There is good evidence to suggest that wetlook has been around some decades or more, and quite possibly since the beginning of time. I really have no idea how far back it goes. How about BSDM?!

Yes, I see a difference. And I doubt to be an aide in that concern. But then, is the difference so great? Would you ask a girl when you meet her the first time for her thoughts about the latest Linux kernel compilation? I guess no, since you know most of the girls would stay up and go away (and most boys, too). So you would leave that subject for later, maybe when she needs som help with her Windows.

Psh :) I'd never survive a relationship with someone who's not technical, since I'm a terrible nerd. And it depends how you meet the girl, I suppose. I've never been on a date so I don't know, nor do I know where I'd ever meet any women at all, let alone those I could actually get on with. If I liked more "obvious" things like PC gaming, Linux or Mac OS X, I might meet a nice women at a user group or a hacker conference, but then I'd be competing with all the other men there :)

Maybe you have the chance to accompany her for a swimming in the sea or pool. If you by that chance tell her that you prefer to swim wearing a shirt and that you like the feeling on the skin etc. (instead of silly excuses about UV radiation) and you do not ask her to do the same then I can't imagine she will cry out and run away. And if she does, then don't worry: she was the wrong one.

I see your logic. Anyone who's not too shy to take a date to the beach for the day, may find that this works. I don't drive, so we'd have to get the train -- there is a train to Brighton that goes through my town actually. But taking the train to the beach on every date with every girl would prove expensive and inconvenient, given the indications here of how few women like getting wet (all the men who remark that their wife doesn't have an interest in getting wet).

I think it's far more important to me that the woman be technically competent and nerdy as that's the safe, non-sexual site to me. If I have to settle for "only" (!) naked skin and no wet clothes, so be it, I guess. Wet hair is great and I'd not likely be denied seeing that.

I don't imagine we'd have a pool at home or that the swimming pools in the area would allow clothed swimming, so just playing in water in clothes for fun -- and not because it's sexy -- would probably not be possible even if she wanted it.

Hmmm, that's really how I feel when I'm wet, too. But I also believe that only thinking one looks sexy somehow makes ones behaviour and thus the appearance sexier. Automatically. Try it. Start smiling.

I know what you mean, but it's just not the same. I need to feel sexy because I'm wet, and becase wet clothes feel nice to touch.

May I suggest to start with a simply DB table, one column per question, on record per participant? Write a simple PHP form with input elements (checkboxes, radiobuttons, combo boxes, and edit fields) to output and to verify the form and to put the record into the table. If filled, export the table and do the whole interpretation stuff using Calc or Excel or whatever.

I could. I tend to prefer writing something more generic, and I was hoping that the resulting code could be used to run other polls. I am not sure on the bandwidth implications of leaving it up as a free site for people to play with, but that would be really sweet if I could. As such, that starts creating questions like, do I have one table per poll? Otherwise, I can't have one a column per question as each poll would be sharing that same table and I'd be adding extra columns each time a longer poll came along. I did talk about it with a friend but he didn't really have any good ideas. And the idea also was -- I think? -- that individual users could play with the results on the Web, not just the poll owner. So yeah, a little bit complicated :)

I'll keep the list of questions so far around on my hard drive just in case.

In reply to Message (23685) Found It Some thoughts html

By WetMartina - wetmartina@sonnenkinder.org de Tue 18/07/06 13:26:03 GMT

Website:


Hi all,
it's me that was away from the forum for almost two weeks. How time flies! I was a bit busy all the days and a bit too lazy all the evenings. Thanks for the reminders

I'd like to thank all of you that emailed me their comments about my tiny story. And, even more, I loved very much to find some other small stories here. Thank you Regenman [You should stop smoking, BTW. Too many cigarettes in your story ], Jennifer and Todd, and Victor. Please, all, don't keep your everyday experiences secret. A few lines are enough, and it's great to know that someone with a known name has become wet and happy again.

And, last but not least, it was a great pleasure to see all the vintage jeans photos by Frankie posted by Scott. I wish I would have been there, but I guess I'm some years too young plus I lived in the wrong part of the world those days, plus my parents were a bit to strict.

However, today is today, and I still owe Telcontar some answers to his posting (quotes indented).

    Hm ... I'm just saying I suppose that if we look at how popular female wetlook is -- all the forum visitors, all the producers of wetlook material -- then there are plenty of men who like looking at wet women. It's not a generalisation of all men, but it's a trend in the sense that there are lot of men who like it, and we can get a handle on their likes.

Well, I'm still sure that for the majority of men (present company excepted) not female wetlook is the thing they are after, but simply naked skin. Wetlook might be one medium to stimulate their fantasy. Not that I know a lot of, but take any soft porn scene, any "sport clip" in the german "DSF" TV night program that starts with a girl getting soaked or muddy. All that wet/mudlook seems to be just a teaser to fuel male fantasy, and fast enough the girl somehow loses her wet clothes, ending up naked. And if one thing is sure then it is the fact that these producers exactly know what their target group likes to see.

    We know what this forum is for, we tend believe that most visitors are men, so we can figure out what men all want.

Perhaps we can figure out what men want that visit this forum here. We still can't tell whether there are more or less men after wetlook than, say, ten years ago. The increasing number of forum visitors may also says that it's easier or cheaper to get "into" the web, or that search enginges got better to find what these men were looking for. If you do your poll, please include a question like "Since when are you a wetlook lover". I guess most answers will be "since my teenager years".

    Unlike finding a tech girlfriend, where you can discuss the subject openly and find out her interests and abilities, wetlook from a man's perspective is still too much about wanting to see the woman get wet for him and thus risking that the woman will feel objectified and refuse.

Yes, I see a difference. And I doubt to be an aide in that concern. But then, is the difference so great? Would you ask a girl when you meet her the first time for her thoughts about the latest Linux kernel compilation? I guess no, since you know most of the girls would stay up and go away (and most boys, too). So you would leave that subject for later, maybe when she needs som help with her Windows. Maybe you have the chance to accompany her for a swimming in the sea or pool. If you by that chance tell her that you prefer to swim wearing a shirt and that you like the feeling on the skin etc. (instead of silly excuses about UV radiation) and you do not ask her to do the same then I can't imagine she will cry out and run away. And if she does, then don't worry: she was the wrong one.

    Men tend to be so lewd and disrespectful about it, and it reflects so badly on men that so many of us objectify women as people to letch at and remark about the size and shape of their bodies. I don't know why women don't act the same way about men, but it's nice that they don't, and men need to learn a lesson there I think.

I only can imagine some very historic reasons for this difference: Men had to protect their tribe against wild animals, against other enemies. Men had to fight wars. Women had to educate children. Maybe in some thousand years the difference will disappear. Hopefully.

    So I figure women like looking at hot men plenty. But, it seems, they're just not interested in wet men. Dang, cause I'd love to believe that I look really sexy wet! =)

Hmmm, that's really how I feel when I'm wet, too. But I also believe that only thinking one looks sexy somehow makes ones behaviour and thus the appearance sexier. Automatically. Try it. Start smiling.

    If I ever did manage to write something that worked

May I suggest to start with a simply DB table, one column per question, on record per participant? Write a simple PHP form with input elements (checkboxes, radiobuttons, combo boxes, and edit fields) to output and to verify the form and to put the record into the table. If filled, export the table and do the whole interpretation stuff using Calc or Excel or whatever.

    ScheiBe forum ist nicht spacen geinserten inbetweenen meine paragraphs...

Gesundheit!

Martina


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